My Blog

bakaxon na talaga..hehe..punta muna kong japan..dis friday na..tas may 31 na balik ko..maiza’s bday..

sa mga frends ko sa bulacan,,senxa na kung di ako makakasamang manood ng liga[dis one's for pebi..]..i-cheer mo nalang sila neil para sakin..so dapat mega effort ung sigaw mo a..kasi pangdalawang tao na un..hehehe..tas kung me puge,,lam mo nang gagawin mo..hahaha..tas itatry ko pa ring maghanap ng hinihingi mong pasalubong na lalaki a..ehehe..ke shenggay,,well,,pupunta ka ding US ulit di ba?! layu pa din natin..haha..sa email,,friendster at multiply nalang tau magcommunicate a..hehe..ke besfwend levy,,gaga ka,,nasa hagonoy ka naman,,di din tau makakapagkwentuhan..haha..ingat sa zambales a..wag maxadong lalandi..hahahahaha..*wink*

sa ust frends naman,,lalo na kina jojo at sitaw,,sori talaga kung di na ko makakasama sa puerto a..gustuhin ko man,,sa friday na talaga alis ko e..di kasi sinabi ni madir na pwede palang 24 nalang e..hay..hoy jo,,wag mo hahayaang ma-o.p. si sitaw a..ingat dun..at iswimming nio nalang ako..haha..basta kaung dalawa,,lam nio na ung habilin ko a..basta paguwi ko super friends pa din tau a..not babube and frends or epi..ahahaha..or else,,papasalvage ko kau sa mga yakusa..kina vany,,tina,,jeanne at mamhe naman,,wag nga kaung kj! kawawa naman ung dalawa noh!!! nung pinaplano palang yung mga outing,,oo kayo ng oo tas ngaun..hay nako..ewan ko sa inyo..ay hindi na pala kasama si jeanne dun,,alam na un! at understood na! ahahaha..

ayun,,haha..la lang..ingat taung lahat..enjoy ur vacation..

makikita nio nga rin pala sa blog sa multiply to a..

if u want to foRget someone…

you’ve got to Let someone heLp you…

give youRseLf a chance again…

don’t Remain weak…

theRe’s aLways someon who’LL Love you BETTER…

do u know y its so hard to be in love again afteR a bRoken heaRt?

it’s bcoz u no LongeR know how much to make the next one speciaL ocz u made the Last one so speciaL..

thinkin’ he’LL be youR Last..

just bcoz my eyes doesn’t tear,,

it doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t cry..

just bcoz i come out strong,,

it dsnt mean theRe’s nothing wrong..

i choose to pretend im happy so i don’t have to expLain myseLf to peopLe who wouLd neveR even undeRstand..

smiLing has been easieR than explaining why i’m sad..

you know what ReaLLy sucks?

it’s when you want to ask one simpLe question…

but,

youR heaRt is way too scaRed of the answeR..

1. bRinging back  the feeLing you’ve LeaRned to foRget..

2. Reminiscing the good times..

3. tRying to hide what you ReaLLy feeL..

4. Loving someone who Loves anotheR..

5. having a commitment with someone that you know wouLdn’t last..

6. shieLding youR heaRt to Love somebody..

7. Loving a peRson too much..

8. Right Love at the wRong time..

9. taking Risk to faLL in Love again..

10. accepting that it was neveR ReaLLy meant to be..

=’(

I wrote this letter for the very reason that I promised myself that somehow… in someway… one day… I am going to let you know how much love is within me. I guess I am not going to let the chance go by. I want you to understand how I feel, and I have no intention of making you feel the way I do. Let me start off by saying that the best way to anything or anyone is being able to let go. Some say that holding on will prove true love; I say if you really love someone… learn to say goodbye. After the dreadful day of our recently concluded relationship, I was never myself. I try to be the friendly and cheerful everyone knows, but deep inside me was nothing of that kind. My friends, maybe our friends, said that they admire for being strong and courageous, but little do they know that everything was all pretenses and disguises. Underneath me was a torn, shattered and very broken heart. Every night I blame the world—and never get tired of it. Seeing your face was a lot torture for than a thousand knives stab in woman’s body. The bleeding will take the life out of you in a few minutes, but with the kind of torture your face brings me… wounds you slowly, letting you feel every bit of the sweet torment and ever pricing agony. It cuts me into small pieces. And whenever I look into your eyes and beyond it, I shiver helplessly. Adding to the sorrow was the fact that I no longer see me in them. As if it will see no ending. It’s really been a hell of a time for me to get over the feel of your touch, the warmth of your lips, the gentleness of your embrace, the comfort of your words, the melody of our song, the world we called ours. Maybe the reason is I don’t really want to get over them. I intended to keep them locked inside my heart… as I have kept you there too. I NEVER WANT TO FORGET YOU. They say that forgetting someone means you loved that someone. I merely wanted to clear my mind for the meantime that I may stop hoping and waiting for all the things that could have been. It saddens me so much that I didn’t get the chance to tell you everything I wanted you to know (it’s mostly about a world I’m in and how much you are apart of that world). If I only knew that this will happen, I would never left your side, every single day and night. I would have chained you close to me and never let you go. I LOVE YOU over and over again, until I have no voice left to say any word (but even as I may have lost my voice, silence will speak for me). If only I had all the time in the world, I would spend them all beside you—loving you. But then again, you have left me with grateful heart for its little things we did, for all the things big and small—they all made me love you even more. Just by remembering the wonderful memories will surely calm my being in times of restlessness and sadness. Even as the hurt and lonely feelings will mock and haunt me forever. I know love shall rule over them. Moreover, you have made me a stronger, better and more loving person out of me. My love has ended as you say goodbye, but I still have my faith to lose, and I know a new life awaits me. It was so hard at first, to admit the fact that your love has died. It made me think if you can even loved me at all. You can’t blame me for this sick and selfish thought. You told me you loved me. This moment prove otherwise. I can’t help but think if you’ve truly been in love, you wouldn’t have left me like this. But I too, can never blame you for everything that has happened. I accept love for all its mysteries. All I know is that you made me feel the extremities of its ways. WHERE THERE IS LOVE, PAIN AND HURT LIES, BUT AS ONE LOVES, THERE IS NEITHER PAIN NOR HURT; ONLY MORE LOVE. For the longest times, I hoped for miracles of you coming back, to me (I never stopped hoping up to this very minute). Eventually, I realized that there are things that are meant to be and even as I do my very best to win you back, I would never have your love back. It’s not because I have no power over love… over you. Let me tell you one thing before you close your doors for me… EVER YOU FIND YOURSELF INLOVE WITH SOMEONE NEW, JUST MAKE SURE SHE LOVES THE WAY I DO AND EVEN MORE. Please know that I long for your happiness. Bear in mind that THE WAY TO LOVE IS TO REALIZE THAT IT MIGHT BE LOST (I learned that because of you). Learn to accept it and learn not to let every opportunity to be with her to pass you by. Love her completely as you would want to be loved. This is more than just a group of words and single white paper… my heart is in it. I know that I could die a thousand deaths. I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH. Letting go is just another way of putting it. GOODBYE. But it’s not forever; it’s just for now. I just hope we could still be good friends. Maybe that’s we ought to be in the first time around. I am not bemoaning for what I lost, I’m so grateful for what remains. We may have lost something along the way, but you and I can still give meaning to the word “FRIEND”. I want to be honest in saying that a friendship, no matter how beautiful can never compensate for what was lost (and it certainly won’t make me miss you less). Goodbye. It’s just a cruel word, but it’s the only word that ca never be kind to me now. Again, I KNOW I’LL BE MISSING YOU.

i’ve had enough..

no,,

don’t tRy to Reason with me,,

this is too much..

i wiLL tRy not to think of you

when i wake up in the moRning

and ask myseLf

if somehow you aRe aLso awake.

i have my own Life to Lead

and my own Life to think of..

no,,

i won’t think of you

whiLe i’m eating my Lunch

wondeRing if you’Re doing the same thing,,

because sooneR oR LateR

i know you wiLL..

no,,

neveR again

wiLL i go to the comfoRt Room

and Lock myseLf in

just to have some pRivacy

to piteousLy think of you,,

sing,, cRy oR do some siLLy things

because of you..

and no,,

neveR wiLL i again think of you Last

when i go to sLeep..

sLeep is my onLy Rest,,

so pLease don’t pLague my dReams..

i am moving on..

i’LL tRy to wake up in the moRning

and smiLe

and think not of why you Left

but that once you stayed..

and if i feeL the need to cRy,,

it wiLL not be foR the futuRe that we couLd have,,

not foR the RegRets that i have

noR of the angeR that i feeL

but i wiLL cRy

because of a Love

that i neveR was abLe to shaRe

with the one boy i feLt it foR..

i wiLL cRy foR the Love that was Lost,,

and not foR the boy who Left me..

i wiLL give my affections to any boy

who is in need of it,,

but not my heaRt

because i stiLL am tRying to get it back fRom you..

i wiLL give him

the Love

that you neveR wanted,,

the kiss

that i so Longed to give you

and the woRds

that once was youRs..

woRthy oR not woRthy of it,,

at Least HE’S HERE,,

YOU’RE NOT..

i’LL tRy

to hold back the teaRs

when i think of you..

i’LL just tRy to smiLe..

i am moving on..

and hoping

that the next thing

wouLd be

Letting go..

“…a broken heart is d single greatest pain u will ever hav 2endure, in fact, d most hurt u can ever imagine

& d one who commits dis emotional crime is not sm1 u hate;

it is not even sm1 u dislike…

no, bcoz d only person who is capable of breaking

ur

heart is d one who holds it precariously in their hands,

d one wid whom u hav shared

ur

dreams,

ur

secrets,

ur

fears—d one u luv more than anybody else in d world…

& therein lies d irony”…

When love has come
But soon is gone
It begs the question
Was it there

The love was lost
And never found
Lost without you
Lost without me
Lost into eternity

The love was just a figment
A figment of our minds
Something we could ponder
But never express

Was it love or just a feeling
Was it love or just healing

Healing from the hatred
The hatred of our hearts
Our past was deep and full of pain
We needed this to release the stain

For this I do not regret
The time with you that I had spent